On my Saigon Side Quest, in addition to doing the usual site seeing, I decided to do a walking tour of the famous, or should I say infamous, Bui Vien Street in District 1 of Ho Chi Minh City. Now, I did the filming quite early, soon after dark at around 7.30pm, but it was already getting very busy. So, you could imagine what goes on there after midnight, at the epicentre of nightlife activities in a city of some 14 million people.
Apart from showing you just the chaos of the Party Zone, I also explored the relative tranquility of the narrow alleyway network between the buildings, as well as a walk through Saigon’s Central Park, where people were still exercising and socialising. What a contrast to what was happening just a few hundred metres away!
While this type of scene is so far removed from my own areas of interest, I still found it fascinating to observe the variety and vibrant of the area in its entirety, especially the contrast between what I consider the good and, well, not so good … but that’s just my own view. Feel free to make up your own conclusion as you, hopefully, enjoy this walk through The Devil’s Playground.
When relationships end, especially marriages, the effects of such major life changes, which can be very abrupt and unexpected, can lead us down very different life paths than what we’d originally envisioned. When such separations occur, knowing how to navigate the ensuing emotional chaos, as the intimate ties that we’ve formed with the people we know, and love(d), slowly begin to unravel, can literally be the difference between rejuvenation and self-destruction. In this video, I tell the stories of how and why two freshly arrived expat gentlemen came to Cambodia, in their personal quests to recalibrate and reinvent their lives; and I also talk about the ‘Three M Concept’, and how it can help to ease the associated emotional pressure, even fear, that can manifest after such loss.
Firstly, I mention the critical importance of men finding and having personal life Missions, as well as having access to a trusted group of Mates, a brotherhood, to keep themselves as steady as possible, throughout the inevitable emotional rollercoaster of recovery. This tumultuous phase can commonly last for even 2 years post divorce! But what was the third ‘M’? Well, this refers to the Maidens, that is, the laydeez; and while there’s an absolute shit ton of reasons as to why they’re 3rd on the priority totem in a man’s life, all I’ll say at this time … and of course this is just from my personal dumb ass man’s point of view … is that a man who doesn’t understand the value of keeping his mission and mates as his first two life priorities, will ultimately end up being badly disrespected, and then become lonely, even within his ongoing relationship.
Now, this is for anyone and everyone out there, man or woman, who is struggling to find the right direction within a relationship. Please just understand that disrespect and love cannot live under the same roof. Regardless, whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to become a Heikegani, the vanquished and ever-bitter-at-life, bottom dwelling Samurai Crab, who was once enticed away from his mission by the lure of faux love. Otherwise, it’s game over!
Now, let me just paint a picture of where I’m personally at right now. I’ve owned cars, I’ve owned houses, I’ve had great jobs, and I’ve travelled extensively. I honestly feel truly blessed to have experienced a so-called successful life and career. Yet here I am, living alone in a $150 a month … nice, but very basic … studio apartment in Siem Reap, Cambodia; having arrived here some 10 weeks ago with nothing more than a suitcase and carry-on. Fortunately, as I’d already transformed into mostly a minimalist over the past 8 years, I really don’t need anything else; and living here allows me to be exactly where I both want and need to be, in this absolutely fascinating Kingdom of Wonder. My apartment provides for me a peaceful fortress of solitude and respite, where I can digest in silence all the incredible sweetness that I’ve consume during everyday life amongst the Khmer people; and, anyway, I certainly didn’t come here to live in a nice hive. I came here for the substance, the honey … and my taste buds are only just beginning to wake up!
To finish, I will share a final word, and it’s a word of warning to those coming here without a clear direction. While it’s totally ok to not have that figured out yet, it’s importance to understand that some of the sweetness that you’ll be exposed to can also be very toxic. So, as you continue with the process of figuring your shit out, and that could take a long time, do yourself the existential favour of finding yourself a good bunch of mates that’ll support and help you to navigate the chaos, by at least showing you how to differentiate the elixir from the poison, when you, yourself, can’t taste the difference.
To my brothers, my mates … past, present & future … Arkun. 🙏
With the gracious invitation by my neighbour, Kelly, and his family, I had the privilege of getting to visit a traditional Khmer Village, as well as join in the fun at a local festival. It was my expat neighbour’s Khmer wife family village, and I certainly got a a little taste of what it’s like to live in a rural area in Cambodia. So many animals everywhere! It was so interesting to simply watch the cows, dogs, chickens, pigs, all just living their own best lives, as the ladies of the family prepared a super tasty chicken curry. Then the scenery! Banana trees, coconut palms, and ricefields, all around. I felt like I was watching life going off like a popcorn machine. So rich, so sublime! Then, a little later at the festival, I was almost overwhelmed by the incredible noise; but it was nothing but the sound of joy. I soon joined in the fun, even having a wee dance there at one point.
It was an amazing day out, and I feel so fortunate to have been given the opportunity to have this experience. The only ‘downside’ was Kelly getting the attention of different groups of Khmer ladies at the festival to indicate to them that I didn’t have a wedding ring. I now suspect the whole plan was to try and get me married off! But it was all in good spirits. The festival was just a big bunch of people getting together to have some good old, simple, wholesome fun as a community. What a joy it was to get to be a part of it!
run for your life 